Top Ten Signs Of The Impending Apocalypse
10. Obama divorces Michelle, marries Michael Jackson
9. Disneyworld gets a red light district.
8. Men start faking their orgasms.
7. Compton is named for the site of the 2012 Olympics.
6. Vin Diesel wins a Tony for his portrayal of King Lear.
5. A man shows up from the future in order to get a better deal on a suit.
4. Ducks have sex with monkeys, create dunkeys.
3. A sex tape is leaked starring Tyler Perry and Oprah.
2. Michael Jordon comes out of retirement and leads Chicago to the NHL finals.
1. I get a writing job based on these top ten lists.
