Top Ten Ways To Beat The Summer Heat
10. Listen to Seals & Crofts’ “Summer Breeze” on repeat. Warning: you will vomit several times.
9. Now that Palin is no longer governor, move to Alaska!
8. For the ladies: one girl, one ice cube!
7. Find Mr. Frostee, and give him a hand job.
6. Get anywhere near Hilary Clinton.
5. Hug a fresh keg.
4. Shoot yourself in the leg. The weather will be the last thing you think about.
3. Put one of those little fans up your ass.
2. Collect current sweat for future smoothie.
1. Piss yourself.
