Top Ten Ways To Leave Your Lover
10. Tell him you’re pregnant with a human/elephant hybrid
9. Tell him you’re taking him to see the family, then drive him to a Klan meeting
8. Pretend you’re asleep and call out his best friend’s name.
7. Steal a ring, give it to her, call the cops.
6. Have a candy-gram show up at her visit to the gynecologist
5. When he’s passed out, dress him up like a baby doll. Post the pictures on the facebook.
4. Sign her up to eHarmony.
3. Start playing World of Warcraft.
2. Break wind at the church service and blame her
1. Flirt with a donkey in front of her
