Top Ten Reasons Not To Get Out of Bed This Morning
10. Your bed: cozy, comfy. The rest of your house: in flames!
9. The number one song on Queen Elizabeth’s iPod is “Single Ladies”.
8. You don’t have to collect your unemployment check until tomorrow.
7. Your roommate decided to make the living room anti-abortion-themed.
6. You wake up next to a woman with a boob for a head.
5. You live on the Red River, and the bed you’re on is currently floating.
4. Your radio alarm clock woke you up with Yanni.
3. You’re a producer of the new Wolverine movie.
2. Dancing With The Stars got an extended contract to run for the rest of eternity.
1. Your bed is made out of cheesecake.